Friday, June 19, 2009

AN EROTIC WEREWOLF IN LONDON (2001, released in 2008) d.William Hellfire

Reviewed by Tim Hulsizer

Late review, me? Ya crazy!

Let's get right to the goods. Straight from the hallowed vaults of Seduction Cinema and Factory 2000 comes the semi-lost Misty Mundae feature AN EROTIC WEREWOLF IN LONDON. Clocking in at a lean, mean 67 minutes, this Beta SP/MiniDV movie also stars Anoushka, Darian Caine, Julian Wells, Zoe Moonshine, Ruby La Rocca, Linda Murray, Jeff Shields, and John Link. Astoundingly, they actually shot scenes and location shots in the UK and US, a feat not generally achieved in low-budget cinema of the erotic-horror/fetish/softcore genres. Writer/Director William Hellfire admirably oversees the proceedings and manages to ably navigate the convoluted plot, delivering a surprisingly ambitious feature that's packed with vitamins T&A just like grandma used to make. Ewww, scratch that last part...unless your grandma is Kitten Natividad, in which case I salute your bloodline.

The plot goes like this (brace yourself and expect spoilers): First we start with a lesbian scene in Misty's bar with her and Ruby. A strange foreign woman (Anoushka) arrives and wants to call a cab, and Misty takes the opportunity to get a little Euro-loving with the individual in question. Halfway through the deed, Anoushka werewolfizes and kills Misty, then leaves. The filmmakers decided to put Anoushka's wolf fangs on her bottom teeth instead of the top. Interesting choice. Then there's Ruby's dream in the bath of hitting it with Anoushka, and she is awakened by the scream of Misty.

We cut to London, where the offices of the Daily Limey are situated. A terrifying man with half his teeth missing (John Link) sends a brunette reporter with an unknown accent (Southern US meets British) to interview Anoushka about being a werewolf. When she arrives, Anoushka is wearing a tasteful ensemble consisting of shirt & panties that say "fuck" all over them. Cut to NYC: Misty's alive! Dr. Douchebag tells Nurse Jaded to watch her but not to put her finger in the pudding, if you catch my drift. Then it's back to the Anoushka interview, and I found myself wishing the disc had subtitles so I could understand Anoushka's broken English.

Back in NYC, Nurse Jaded needs some Misty Pudding after all. Next morning Nurse Blonde arrives to find Nurse Jaded missing. Misty promptly seduces Nurse Blonde. Speaking of blondes, back in London miss Anoushka has tracked one to her home and gets it on with her in the shower. No Teeth Man sends the reporter brunette to NYC to "finish the story." I don't think the NY Times has that kind of budget, much less a back alley rag like the Daily Limey. Ruby has a dream of doing Anoushka and is woken up by the reporter, who warns Ruby about Misty's lycanthropic transformation.

That night Ruby finds Misty in bed, horny as heck and fully healed from her original injuries. Misty gets chained to the bed for safety, but can mere chains hold her? I dare not ruin the shocking ending. See for yourself.

Also included on this enjoyable disc is the 12-minute feature "Reminiscing With Ruby," in which the comely lass talks about filmmaking and how she came to join Misty in the studio's stable of muff. The film itself boasts a very entertaining commentary with Billy H. himself as well as producer Michael Raso and Media Funhouse host Ed Grant. They provide information on how the studio got started, how they met the girls, how everyone acts on set, and more. They're smart, funny fellas and I enjoyed it more than a lot of big-budget Hollywood feature commentaries I've heard. While I can't say I'm a collector of this particular type of film, I dug the viewing experience and I think there's plenty here that will appeal to erotic-horror and Misty Mundae fans. The menus, packaging and extras are all put together very well, right down to the nifty painting on the cover.

The second disc is devoted to an entire bonus feature entitled NIGHT OF THE GROPING DEAD. On the EROTIC WEREWOLF commentary the guys talked about how they make private fetish films for paying clients, and I believe this client must be into dead people groping live ladies, because that's precisely what you get in this 48 minute flick. It seems like a pretty small group of folks who would be into something like this, even at a brisk 48 minutes, so it makes sense that they would include it as a bonus with another feature. And hey, what better to team it with than another erotic horror movie like AN EROTIC WEREWOLF IN LONDON.

NIGHT OF THE GROPING DEAD, shot sans tripod on low-grade video, stars Misty and Ruby again, and they're looking lovely as usual. Here we begin the story with a young lady doing laundry, diddling her skittle on a laundry table, then falling into a sleep so deep that she doesn't notice the zombie janitor who arrives and starts fondling her goodies. She finally awakens when he attempts a bit of the ol' mop handle rape, and she flees to her car which is clearly empty in the shots outside of it. Once inside the car, an undead dude from a 1970s prom materializes in the backseat somehow, causing her to flee into an alley and get caught by 3 undead gentlemen.

Milady finds herself trussed up in the unfurnished apartment of Marcus DeSade who commands an army of "S&M zombies" who strip, grope, and softcore rape her. They "tenderize" (read: spank) and "eat" (read: cunnilingate) her, making her a zombie in Marcus' army. He berates her and demands a zombie S&M BJ but she bites his member off and attacks his neck in an unconvincing manner (you can actually see the Tupperware container of fake blood behind them). She stands over his dead body and masturbates, then he somehow wakes up and screams his final scream.

Out on the street, Misty Mundae gets an amulet from a street corner dude in zebra pants. It turns out Zombie Queen Esmerelda wants the "Crack of Dawn" amulet for herself, so she sends undead folks out to get Misty. "Soon the whole world will be a zombie!" she cries. She gropes and chews on Misty, then we cut to sometime later. The Queen and Misty are now goth-zombie-lesbians making plans to get an army of zombies together. Misty observes, "You still have the power to make a dead woman cum. Not just anyone can do that." Indeed. They discuss their plans a bit more and the question is asked: "Don't you want to be queen?" The reply is given: "I just want to get fucked by her majesty." And so they make the bold decision to move to a trailer park instead.

"What about world domination?"

"Fuck it."

Erotic Werewolf info at Alternative Cinema

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